Dont be a "Dickmate"

[paulsboats]

Happly? Well I don't know. But you can probably guess what happens next.

So I give in and say ok to the ride. And immediately all 25 or so of "the tooners" rush the boat and try to all get in all at the same time. I think about 12 or 13 actually made it. The fatter ones left still in the water with solemn looks upon their faces. As the latter and swim platform on the back of a convincor can be a difficult proposition for those with a BMI of 50% and greater.

So I climb up to get in and explain that more have to exit the craft as there isn't even room for me and I have to drive. I then point to the little yellow placard that states the number of people, BY LAW, that the U.S. coast guard allow to be aboard the craft at any given moment. More grimaces and solemn looks dawn the faces of the remaining assholes! I let them work out their hierarchy for them selfs. Draw straws, rock paper scissors, whatever I don't give a ****!

Now we are finally making way and "The Tooners" all want to go down to the cliffs to jump off. I'm speeding down the lake partly because that what the tooners want me to do. And partly because the fast we get there and get back. The faster I will be rid of these assholes and can get back to enjoying my day!

SO we are going real fast and everyone is drunk (but ME). The girl next to me dancing around with her arms in the air. Beer in both hands I think. In fact they are all doing this. As I'm trying to thread the needle past a stopped boat with a downed skier in the water and another boat, her ****ing hair blows all in my face! Another bitch has managed to find her way below and is ****ing with the radio, cranking the volume up to 11. Finally we come up on 4 or 5 big swells or rollers that some big cabin cruisers must have kicked up. And man we hit these full speed. I didn't see them till it was too late. Ya know, because I'm ****ing destracted! Well, people flew everywhere! The ladies got it the worst as they where totally oblivious. The girl in the cabin ****ing with the radio got it the worst. She really jammed her neck up. She was ****ed up for the rest of the day!

Anyway, everyone sorta sat the **** down and shut the **** up after that.

That is my story and I'm sticking to it. Sorry I didn't wave Miller....

That will ruin a day of boating for sure!

 

[miller]

Appology accepted Outlaw, we'll wave twice next time. Hope your summer gets better, although priceless story.

 

[srtoutlaw]

That will ruin a day of boating for sure!

Don't get me wrong it did not ruin the day. But it was just my BILs friends and relitives. They where just drunk and stupid and didn't have any real experiance around boats or even water for that matter. They got schooled real quick. And I did sorta enjoy watching several of them limp around for the rest of the day.

They just where not boat people. Know what I mean...

And when you're doing something such as boating or motorcycling and the like. It is best to do it with people who are savvy to whats going down. And this has by no means been meant to be a slight on my BIL. It's just one of those things.

And I did embelish just a little. But not much.

 

[srtoutlaw]

Appology accepted Outlaw, we'll wave twice next time. Hope your summer gets better, although priceless story.

No Problem miller. WHat kinda boat you running so I can look out for you? Also I'm easy to spot so please come over and say hello.

 

[miller]

Its a weatherbeaten red white & red 251. We usually put in at snyders & anchor up & float in the rabbit ears or by the cliffs. We went up to the resort & watched the fireworks & remembered why we dont travel up past Nancy's that much. The lake narrows down & the boats are bigger, fatter & making atlantic size waves!! It was more like playing a bad video game trying to avoid other boats than fun. The fireworks were nice though.

 

[yellowfiero88]

Yes I'm sorry I didn't wave. probably never saw you. Truth is I was probably a little pissed off and just focusing on driving the damn boat! Let me explain...

My sister and BIL recently bought a pontoon. And several of their friends have toons also. And as you know pontooners almost always bring a god damned army of people with them when they go boating. Because why the **** else would you buy one of those ****ing things if you wernt going to take the whole extended family with you and go invade a ****ing small country!

So there they are... 30 to 40 totally drunk assholes most all of them friends and relatives of my BIL ****ing drunk and pestering me all god damned day to take them for rides in the uber cool speed boat. Because I'm the only person there with a REAL boat and none of them ever been in anything faster than a ****ing canoe before. And theres 30 of these ****ers. And they all want a ride! And there all drunk!

So when you do finally break down, give in , and say ok to taking these drunken fools for a ride. Well... That's when the real fun begins! To be continued......

There is a lot of ass hole pontooners out there .

I personally would have only offered to the drunk women and told them they had to be topless to ride. See how many would actually want to go for a ride at that point.... altho again you would have been side tracked

 

[TheNerd]

There is a lot of ass hole pontooners out there .

I personally would have only offered to the drunk women and told them they had to be topless to ride. See how many would actually want to go for a ride at that point.... altho again you would have been side tracked

Thats my kinda thinking there, boat full of topless drunk women. NICE

 

[paulsboats]

Sounds like a good rule to me!

 

[502GTX]

Thats my kinda thinking there, boat full of topless drunk women. NICE

I think that would depend on age, weight and resistance to gravity!

 

[paulsboats]

Rule nummber 2,3 and 4 ?

 

[miller]

We just got home from the lake. My mom & new hubby camped there from tues till sat. I delivered the eluder to them on wed. & took eveyone for a ride & left it there for them. Anyone who hasnt driven one of the smaller mates in a while...your missing out!! what fun...it completely reacts to every little imput!! It felt like flying not boating...so much lighter when aired out! But anyway, Toni & I went up after work on fri. & stayed till sun. evening & spotted a white senator, white & black 259(or 270) & a red open bow(25ft or bigger)....& they all waved!!! I think the words getting out...dont be a Dickmate!!! Happy boating!!

 

[srtoutlaw]

We just got home from the lake. My mom & new hubby camped there from tues till sat. I delivered the eluder to them on wed. & took eveyone for a ride & left it there for them. Anyone who hasnt driven one of the smaller mates in a while...your missing out!! what fun...it completely reacts to every little imput!! It felt like flying not boating...so much lighter when aired out! But anyway, Toni & I went up after work on fri. & stayed till sun. evening & spotted a white senator, white & black 259(or 270) & a red open bow(25ft or bigger)....& they all waved!!! I think the words getting out...dont be a Dickmate!!! Happy boating!!

Miller have you heard anything about a bad accident near Snyders run today? Two boat collided at speed two people dead? Reports are sketchy. My sister said there was a whole crap load of abulances at snyders when she got off the water. I was not at the lake this weekend because my truck is broke down.

 

[miller]

I had just backed the trailer in the water & went to the dock( at snyders) to get the boat & Toni asked what was going on. I hadnt noticed but by this time an ambulance had my truck blocked off & emt"s jumped out & said they needed a boat, A guy with a yamaha boat already offered & took them out the inlet to get an older gentleman who was already recieving cpr. We got out of the way & they took him to jc blair. He was still getting cpr when they left, didnt sound good. We probably talked to your sister.

 

[miller]