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war stories

jazzy

jazzy

Well-known member
today in the office my dad and i were talking about some of our misadventures on the water and we both got a pretty good laugh out of them. he did some stupid things we all did some stupid things in the process of learning to be competant boaters. i think in general everyone has some mishaps i want to start this thread for just that lets hear some funny stories of your mishaps. you might not have laughed at the time but im sure the longer time goes on the funnier they get
ill get the ball rolling. many years ago when i was much smaller my whole family was coming home from a long day at the beach. it was about a 20 mile trip back through open water the wind kicked up and the waves got pretty big my dad was not one to back off the throttle we had somewhere to be that evening and he was in a hurry well he stood it up on end and the porta potty jarred itself loose and came rolling out of the cabin the look on my mothers eyes as she dodged the crap bomb rolling towards her in the back seat was absolutely priceless i think she almost killed my father after we slowed down and that was the end of porta potties in any of the family boats
 
Let's see SOOOOoooo many storeis,So little time. PG R X XXX I don't know where to start!
Once at Put in Bay with a girl on HER boat, we decided to make little whoopy, so down below we go (its 12pm sunday afternoon).Mind you how they dock is 4 deep with 2 rows stern to stern. 8 swim plat forms basically together.Anyways I knock it out come up from below to a cheering crowd,I commense to taking a victory lap, hi 5 ing as I go along.My date was none the wiser when popped up. Her foot prints were up in the fur for the whole summer!Boy I sure missssss that,
Boat: an early 27' Formula.

Maybe the next I'll tell about the call girl, video camera and the spider!

next!
 
Maybe the time I caught up with a bunch of firemen and cops from a neighboring city,they were on about a 40+ ftr celerbrating a musclehead cops 40th b-day.He was like nice boat, take me sking, I was like sure, he was I ski naked, I'm like get in. So he ends up being a good slalom skier so I gave him what he wanted, pulled him naked as close as to the 100 or so boats anchored in the bay at the time!
For a few yrs after I got a free pass in that town,I would just have to bring the fact that I was the one that pulled big Paul around naked!
 
i didnt think you were supposed to tell stories from the bay lets just say im very familiar with the playground in the park and a few of the cannons
 
Memorial day weekend 2010, illMATTic and I had the boats loaded with women and we head down the Saginaw river out to the Sagiaw Bay. On the way out his boat is acting a bit strange, but we continued on our way. When we arrived to the hang out spot "boats beach" illMATTics mota was making some funny noises. After a few hours drinking at the sand bar we decided to head back.
The ride back took some where between 4 and 5 hours, me towing his boat. We wanted to avoid any further damage to the mota. I did find that I can top off a 32 oz power aid bottle when its time to go. Also that I can drink 24 beers in one outing and still get the boat in the garage.
Once home I fell out the back door of my house and rolled my ankle, had to take a few days off work as I could not walk. I took a look at the cam and the only pics I took all day were of my wife and her sister peeing over the side on the long trip back. Talked to the sister in law, the only pics she took all day were me filling the Power Aid bottle.
 
I towed my buddied Hydrostream Virage from Florida Bay where his gear case died:(, through Tavenier Creek, into the open Atlantic:eyecrazy:, all the way back to Islamorada Tiki Bar where we were staying..................in the dark.....at midnight....with no GPS.....and somehow managed to miss all the reefs, sandbars, and shoals in the pitch black of night.....to this day my buddy things I've got a built GPS in my head:sssh:!!! Talk about luck and finding a needle in a haystack!!!:bigthumb: lol For the guys familiar with the upper KEYs, you know how much trouble you can get into between Tavanier and Islamorada!!
 
Glad to see some people brave enough to join the party! I have a nice story to share. While dating a girl, we decide to go boating up in Lake St.Clair, so we head up that way. Not knowing anything, we put in and head out! Next thing we know the blue angels are puting on an air show over our heads out of Selfridge. We stop and had lunch during the airshow overhead.Then we enjoy the day and head over to the Clinton River for dinner and it was the parade of lights night,so I cruze to a spot and find a 50' that will allow us to tie off and my date knew the owner of the 50ftr both were in the car selling buisness.I COULD NOT DO ANY WRONG THAT DAY!!!! Oh did I forget to say that my date made 80+G's a yr selling Jeep Cherokees to guys that couldn't afford them but were happy to have them! I happen to have a pic of such a sap!



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This would be, quite literally a war story. 1992 my wife and I are down in the town of Eilat on the Red Sea. We decide to rent a little 10 foot boat with a 25 horse motor and tool around. Like one of those Disney lagoon boats.
In the distance there is a really large boat, several hundred feet and it looks interesting so despite my wife's protest "oohh, don't go so faaar" I keep going.
A few miles later as we get closer we see that this huge ship is spinning multiple radars and has really large gun turrets.
Wife wants to get back closer to shore- I, on the other hand want to get closer for a photo op.
As we get closer to ship it starts anouncing something over it's loudspeakers.
Since I don't understand Arabic I keep coming in to gawk. All of the sudden several of the turrets on the (Jordanian Gunboat!!) ship swivel and they're aimed right down on me and my wife in this little mickey mouse bote in the middle of nowhere. The loudspeaker anouncement keeps being repeated, now in several languages. When it gets to english we hear something roughly to the effect of "go away now or else".
We left. We left as fast as that little mickey mouse bote could go.
My wife likes to remind me of that story whenever she feels I'm going too fast or too far.
 
None of mine are as good as those so far but...

In 1993 when my 82 Eluder was still pretty new to me. Put the boat in the lake, start her up with all the family on shore, plan to warm it up and get to the dock to pick everyone up. After engine has been running for a few mins. put her in gear and open her up, forgot to trim down, bow reaches for the sky, driver seat mount rips out of the floor and it and I spill back into the rear bench with me grabbing for anything solid so I don't end up overboard. The boat is then starting to get on plane and bow starts dropping so I climb out of the back seat and slow her down, then have to hang my head back:o to shore and explain to everyone what they just watched. :shakehead:
 
Last summer after the Eluders restoration, take her out for first weekend of fun, had done all the checks at home that I thought were ness. Engine running on muffs check shifting, steering, guages. Re-did a few things that I found wrong. Had to redo some the gauge wiring hook ups and such. Get on the lake with family (including mother in law) with what I think is a full tank of gas, play around for a while and boat starts to sputter. I am conviced the tank is full as I always park it full, but forgot that for the restoration I had emptied it, so when I hooked up the gauge and it read empty and I didn't believe it and switched the wires to show full. Accept a tow back to the launch from a .......sailboat.

I seem to humilliate myself everytime I get a little bit too proud of something.

Hope your having fun laughing at my expense...
 
I have one that started on the lake. My little brother and me had been at the lake since friday at noon having a good time cruising in our old beat up glastron. Saturday around noon we picked up a couple of girls that showed up at the public landing trolling for a boat ride. As the day progressed and the cold drinks flowed we became a little better acquainted with the pair we had picked up. We ran out of gas at least once that I can remember. Nice slow tow back to gas dock and more cold beverages. Around dark we had pretty well paired up and worked out how this deal was gonna work out. Being the nice guys we are we offered to let them stay at our cabin because they had entirely too much fun to be driving home! Then we noticed that we were almost out of gas again and the gas dock has long since closed its close to midnight now. My truck with the trailer is parked at the public landing since our cabin doesn't have a ramp. So... I have to take my truck the 15 miles back around the lake so we have a way to go in the morning right. Its only 3 miles or so on the water. Well little brother is taunting he will have em both wrapped up by the time I make it all the way around. So the race is on! I left in a cloud of black smoke from my hot rod cummins hell bent to beat him back to the cabin. When I crossed the bridge 6 miles from the cabin I obviously got a little to close to the guardrail snagged the fender and wheel on the trailer good enough to rip the u bolts loose! Well I was in a race that's no reason to slow down! By the time I made it to cabin the axle was gone and I was pulling the trailer on the main leaves in the spring pack. Trailer was bent to hell, completely totaled! I had obviously had too much fun to be driving as well. So me and little brother end up in a fist fight in the yard. We owned the boat together. Seems the 2 girls were just rough enough to love this kind of craziness. We both got laid and managed to get a good laugh out of it in the morning! Learned my lesson though. Truck keys go in the cabinet on friday and don't come back out till sunday regardless of what kinda ladies we have around.
 
I could go on and on!

Speeding ticket for 114 in a 30mph manatee zone

Hitting a 4ft cruiser wake at 112 and splitting the bottom.

Outrunning the fish cops at 118 and hiding the boat in the weeds 20 miles downstream, and hitch-hiking back to my truck and trailer.

Rolling my boat over on top of 4 of us by hitting a dock at about 10 mph because the boat would'nt turn. Wife does'nt let me forget that one!

Sitting on the rear sundeck on a 25 Liberator at 85 mph. I was the only one in the boat!

Taking a real hot chick fishing on a first date back in 1975 when I owned a 28ft Luhrs sportfish boat. She had on an orange velour bikini. She asked why we weren't catching anything, so I said "let's go into the cabin" I never told her that I never baited the hooks!

Lots of storys, so little time!
 
WILDMAN said:
I could go on and on!

Speeding ticket for 114 in a 30mph manatee zone

Hitting a 4ft cruiser wake at 112 and splitting the bottom.

Outrunning the fish cops at 118 and hiding the boat in the weeds 20 miles downstream, and hitch-hiking back to my truck and trailer.

Rolling my boat over on top of 4 of us by hitting a dock at about 10 mph because the boat would'nt turn. Wife does'nt let me forget that one!

Sitting on the rear sundeck on a 25 Liberator at 85 mph. I was the only one in the boat!

Taking a real hot chick fishing on a first date back in 1975 when I owned a 28ft Luhrs sportfish boat. She had on an orange velour bikini. She asked why we weren't catching anything, so I said "let's go into the cabin" I never told her that I never baited the hooks!

Lots of storys, so little time!
Click to expand...

That's awesome:bigthumb:
 
(sigh - looking outside and wishing for summer). I am fortunate enough to live on a Lake and know a gentleman who gets a new Sunseeker every year. Last year he had the Predator (featured in a James Bond movie) but decided he needed more room and got a 65' 2010 Manhatten (its wider than my Checkmate is long). First time out this year his captain expertly docks it in the front slip at an on-the-water hangout and gets off to set the lines. Everyone's head in the bar/restaurant has turned to watch the parking job and check out the new ride...people are lining the railings with cameras.
Suddenly the captain yells up at me from the dock (I'm on the flybridge), "the wind is picking up, go hit the bow thrusters left". I glance down at beer #6 in my hand and back at him with a blank look on my face while he is now pushing against the boat and yells "do it!". I run over to the Captain's chair and stare down at the unfamiliar controls. Relieved, I see a joystick labeled "bow thrusters" and tap it left...the boat groans, moves and they put bumpers into place.
As we walk up from the dock, numerous patrons are high-fiving me/patting me on the back. A few minutes later when a stranger approaches me to talk about my parking job, I realize they all thought I was the one who had masterfully maneuvered the ship into the slip as opposed to the reality of helping no more than pushing one lever left.
Picture for perspective and me hanging out at my favorite spot on the boat.
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COBRAND_NAME=snapfish

30279_443079603992_757208992_5556147_7318325_n.jpg
...as you can probably guess, some spectacular stories have arisen on that vessel and once the statute of limitations runs, I'll share 'em.
 
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